between the click of the light and the start of the dream
by thebesttempinchiswick
Summary: Alternate ending to 5x17 (99 Problems)


between the click of the light and the start of the dream.

Destiel. Alternate ending to 5x17 (99 problems) because I didn't like it. So there.

Castiel looked really bad. Really, really bad, thought Dean. Today had taken a lot out of everyone, but Castiel the most of all.  
They hadn't seen him since their worst fears were confirmed. God had abandoned them. And now, today he had shown up hammered and apathetic. It was so unlike him, and it sent shivers down Dean's spine. And not the good kind.  
He couldn't help but think of 2014.  
He thought of a time when he had been forced to see his Cas, his best friend, strung out on anti depressants, barely hanging on. A Castiel that had given up.  
No no no! When had he become his Cas? When had he stopped being just Cas, and come to mean something more entirely?  
He wasn't sure he had an answer. It could've been any of the times they had saved each other's lives. Any of the hugs that kept getting longer and longer. Hell, anytime, maybe even their "last night on Earth," where they had been kicked out of a strip club. Any of the times it had felt like all that stood between them was a paper-thin line called fear.  
Fear of the future. Of the unknown. Fear of Micheal and Lucifer and friggin' 2014, the apocalypse, which was his fault. It had been his fault then. It still was. Or would be. Or whatever.  
He knew what he had to do. So with Sam and Pastor Gideon safely asleep in the next motel room over, he made his way to the bed where Castiel lay.

He laid down next to Cas and unconsciously began carding his fingers through the angel's hair.  
"Hey. How are you doin'?" He asked. Castiel's reply was muffled as he turned to bury his face in Dean's side.  
Dean chuckled. "I thought so." He sobered almost immediatley, however. "We gotta talk, buddy."  
"What is it, Dean?" Asked Cas. He looked up at the hunter from beside him on the bed. Dean could tell that the hangover was wearing off, and his eyes were regaining their usual luster. It was a small comfort.  
"Cas, uh, you know, we've known each other awhile now, and uh, we've gotten pretty close."  
"I am aware of that, yes."  
God damn it. Those big, blue eyes certainly weren't helping his thinking process. But he held Cas's gaze. He took a deep breath.  
"Look, I have no illusions, okay? I know the life that I live, I know how that's gonna end for me. Whatever. I'm okay with that. But I wanted you to know…that when I do picture myself happy…it's with you. And, I know that's a lot to take in, but things are gonna start getting crazy and I just, I wanted you to know. Ok?"  
Castiel stared at him for a long moment before breaking into a warm smile. He curled even further into Dean's side. "I want to be happy with you too, Dean. I... I wasn't sure how to bring it up exactly. And then God... It was all too much, at the time. I didn't think we could have something like that."  
"Well why the hell not?" Asked Dean lightly as he tiled Castiel's chin towards his own. Their faces were centimeters apart by now.  
"I thought that since God was out of the question, I wouldn't be of service anymore. Besides, as I said before, I'm a very poor example of an angel."  
"Yeah, well, that stuff doesn't matter. You're one of us now. Team Free Will."  
Cas laughed sadly. He looked away. "Thanks, Dean. That means a lot."  
"You're welcome. But promise me, you won't ever think that you're not useful just 'cause you don't have all your angel mojo or whatever."  
Cas's eyebrows knit together. "But, Dean-" he started, but Dean cut him off with a kiss.  
Cas opened his mouth, leaning into Dean. Before long they were both panting for breath.  
"Promise?" Dean panted, press in his forehead against Cas's.  
"Promise." Breathed Cas, as he captured Dean's lips with his own again.  
Dean's hands were in Cas's hair, and Cas's hands were working furiously to get Dean's shirt off. It didn't take long for Dean to do the same to Cas.  
When they got to belt buckles, Dean paused.  
"Cas- are you sure?" He had to be sure before they went any further.  
"If you stop now, I swear to my father that I will kill you."  
Dean laughed against Cas's mouth and deftly got his pants undone.

Later that night, they were both laying together, wrapped in sheets like a barrier against the world.  
"Dean?"  
"Mmh,"  
"I think you are planning to say yes to Micheal."  
God damn. Somehow, the angel read his mind.  
"How'd you know?"  
"You tend to make your 'last nights' stand out. I am guessing that you didn't want to leave Earth with regrets."  
"That wasn't all." Cas eyed him suspiciously. "I wanted to let you know that I'm gonna make arrangements. Those dicks won't get anything from me without a few conditions. I've gotta take care of you and Sammy, after all."  
"Dean, you don't need to do this. And Sam and I are perfectly capable of caring for ourselves. And as for the apocalypse, we still might have a shot at killing Lucifer."  
"No." Said Dean. "No we don't. It's me or Sammy. I can't let the apocalypse happen. I can't let him say yes first. I've seen that world, and Jesus, Cas, it was horrible. I've gotta do something, and now."  
"I wish you didn't have to go." Said Cas as the hunter got up and pulled a shirt over his head.  
Dean looked sadly back at his angel, a mess of blue eyes and black hair and soft skin lying between motel room sheets. He knew what Ash meant when he said that soulmates shared their heaven.  
"I wish I didn't have to either, darlin'. But that's the way its gotta be."  
"Dean."  
"What?"  
"When it's all over, find me. I'll try and find you too. Promise?"  
Dean looked him in the eye. "Promise."

He dressed himself and checked the clock. 3 AM.  
He kissed Castiel goodbye, went to the parking lot, and started the Impala.  
When it's all over, find me.  
He wasn't much, but he was a man who kept his promises.  
fin.


End file.
